Monday, November 17, 2014

An Era of the Uncompulsed


I need to get busy on my blog.

I should pay a visit to my friends in the blogosphere.

I need to figure out what I'm going to blog about.

I wonder if I'll ever get back to blogging?

I wish I felt like blogging.

Can a blog collect dust or rust?

I miss my favorite bloggers.

... and on and on it goes.


It's been many weeks since I put in an appearance here.  Instead, I've been settling into rural America, raising a puppy (Maizie, who is now 5 1/2 months) and shifting yet another retirement gear.  Had anyone told me just five years ago that I would actually want to move at a snail's pace I'd have laughed. But now I snail on ...

Many were the years, especially as I raised children & worked full time that my life resembled that of a Circus Performer.  I was forever just one breath aware from implosion, balancing ten tiny tea cups on pencil-thin sticks while simultaneously juggling bowling balls.  I still can't believe I survived it.  Such were the days now long gone.

As I was driving the vast four miles between home and town the other day it occurred to me that I am completely free of compulsions or, to be exact, I'm uncompulsed.  My mind ruminates on the above thoughts and many others with nary a sense of urgency or guilt.  I sift & sort, looking for ways to make these days rich & sweet.  Such sifting often entails the baking of cookies, or a walk in the nearby orchards with said puppy, or a nap.  

My mother would be apoplexed (yes, I'm aware that isn't a real word, but it fits) at my choices.  In the world in which she grew up, as well as the one in which she raised we four girls, to move snail-like was synonymous with lazy.  She never left anything undone, Industrious was her middle name.  God forbid anyone should nap.  

I hardly feel lazy.  Thinking, sifting and sorting can be quite exhausting.  

There is much I hope to accomplish in the coming days, weeks and years.  I'm not done with the blogosphere or writing.  In fact, I hope to spend many, many hours penning a tribute to family.  I have many dreams and an equal number of projects ~ a goodly number of which may accompany me to the hereafter should I not get to them in the here and now.  I'm totally OK with the undone.

What's precious to me at this moment is the freedom to pace myself, to savor the moment, and to pack away those tea cups & bowling balls for good.

Amen.

10 comments:

Sharon said...

You know, I think your *pace* sounds just right. It's funny, isn't it, how our surroundings can contribute to the inner person? And it sounds like you are being refreshed.

Boo to feeling apoplexed!

XO

Renee Regnier said...

Kathleen,

It sounds just lovely! Enjoy!

Blessings, my friend!

Nancy said...

It does sound lovely and makes me wish I could visit with you and you tell me how you have accomplished this. This is my heart's desire for my life but I am finding it very hard to make it happen. I am so happy for you though…..Now I am going to reread your post and see if it will rub off on me….Hugs

Nancy said...

It does sound lovely and makes me wish I could visit with you and you tell me how you have accomplished this. This is my heart's desire for my life but I am finding it very hard to make it happen. I am so happy for you though…..Now I am going to reread your post and see if it will rub off on me….Hugs

Rebecca said...

Good for YOU! I've been pretty much "bone idle" since having hip replacement surgery in March followed by knee replacement the end of September. My energy is returning just in time to hibernate for Indiana winter. :)

Maryann said...

I don't think snail's pace is a bad place to be. It gives you the opportunity to experience things, see things, hear things in a whole new way. I am enjoying my slower pace, and yet my days are still full...enjoy your new pace

Sonja Goodson said...

You and I are in the same chapter my friend. Loved this. Think of you and miss you, so glad to see you here today. Interesting days, more relaxed, lots of contemplation...
Love you Kathleen!

Debbie said...

I need to spend some time dwelling and contemplating WHY I feel the need to always be soo busy when honestly I am in a season of life where I COULD just "be". I can do whatever I want (most of the time anyway). Life is slow and easy compared to those days when I was knee deep in the raising of my kids. You have made all this sound SOOO good. Nap, if you feel like it, walk if that sounds better, pray, sort, contemplate. Does it get much better? Guess I could add to my list...sew, create, bless others, and keep busy with simple things too. It's all in the chosing isn't it? Enjoy your days Kathleen!

Just a little something from Judy said...

I came here this morning, because I wanted to and because I wanted to gain more wisdom. I found it! I really like what you shared! I always thought of you as a pretty, petite spitfire of a person, and now, I like picturing you in another chapter of life. It is so good! In those quiet, more relaxed moments, I can't help but think that brilliant mind of yours works on. I pray that you take time to share tidbits of all that God continues to teach you. You add much to blog land, although I totally understand your sentiments. At your stage, the "being still and knowing that I am God" stage is more of a reality. That is what God is working with me on. Thanks for sharing your heart today.

Melanie said...

I just found your blog and I've enjoyed my visit very much! It took me 2 years to slow down after I retired and I still don't have it down completely! Have a blessed evening.