Tuesday, November 6, 2012

In Case of Snark Attack

I could scarcely believe my eyes or ears as I sat adjacent to the warring factions.  It wasn't really much of war, mostly because there were but two combatants.  But it was definitely a Hatfield & McCoys moment - - and this between two men that love each other dearly.  Except at that moment.

It was difficult to decide which was the aggressor and which was the victim.  They dodged between roles.  I counted myself most fortunate to not have sustained a glancing blow.   

The subject?  (Were I to give you one guess I'm certain you'd get it immediately)  :  politics.

Today's Election Day.  We've already slogged our way through a particularly uncivil season of campaign faldera.  Depending on today's voting outcome, we may be in for an equally virulent season of post-election snark. 

How do we survive?

Well, this is certainly may be a wee bit facetious, but it applies.  There are ways to avoid or prevent a shark snark attack.  But what do you do if you're engaged in one?

You needn't guess.

What To Do If You Encounter A Shark Snark,
or if You've been Snorked
Stay Calm and still
This sounds a lot easier said than done but it is really important. Like many predators, shark can sense fear and this will only arouse their senses and attack instincts. You also need to keep cool in order to analyze the few critical seconds that you have to make the right decisions that will save your life. This is not the time to panic. If a shark is approaching, you will not be able to out swim it in open water. Instead, stay still and take the next steps. 
Defend yourself
Get in a position where you are able to defend your front and sides of your body. Try to avoid using your hands. Use any weapons possible and in your case it’s likely the only thing you have is your surfboard. If possible, use your board as a shield of a barrier from the shark. Strike back at the shark if you can at its most delicate areas such as their eyes, nose or gills. 
Get Aggressive: 
If it bites into you and drags you underneath water, playing dead will not help. Get as aggressive as you can by clawing at its eyes and gills. 
Stop the bleeding:  
Get out of the water as efficiently as you can. Most sharks who attack surfers think that they're prey. Once they realize that surfers are not their usual high fat meals, they usually let go. In fact, fatal shark attacks are usually due to the injury sustained from the attack and not from getting devoured. It’s critical you get out as quickly as possible and stop the bleeding.  
Get help: 
Find a lifeguard or anyone and get immediate medical attention.     
Just don't BE the snark.

This is what the LORD says:
“Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or
the strong man boast of his strength or
the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts boast about this:
 that he understands and knows Me,
that I am the LORD,
Who exercises kindness, justice and
righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,”
declares the LORD. (Jeremiah 9:23-24)

Real Life Survival Skills - Avoiding Shark Attacks


skoots1mom said...

amen and amen...May His remnant speak loudly and VOTE!

Denise said...

Awesome post.

myletterstoemily said...

this is the absolute political column i have
read all season! i choose to not be a snark
and hope to not encounter one!

Debbie said...


Maryann said...

Wonderful post, I always try to avoid "snarks" whenever possible

RCUBEs said...

I was watching a great painter who loved to paint sea creatures one morning. He happened to be painting a shark and as he did his strokes, he was explaining that there was a saying...that we didn't need to learn to swim faster than the shark...We needed to just learn to swim faster than our swimming buddies...

I hate politics. But lack of knowledge destroys one. I would rather avoid the ocean. But if time comes that there is an imminent attack, I am willing to give my all to fight...especially if that's the right thing to do...Like this post.

Just a little something from Judy said...

Very well written my friend!
The fighter in me desperately needs all this help. The verse you shared says it all and that I believe with all my heart.

Terri Tiffany said...

Good post! I was wondering what it would be like post election--so far not too many sharks coming at anyone.